im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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