I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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