Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
