i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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