I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
