you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
