This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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