i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
