I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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