he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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