i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He better not be in your backpack
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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