I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
