he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
