last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sober January is a disaster.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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