she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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