Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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