erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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