She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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