So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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