you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
