That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
