I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
