i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
