This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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