You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
