i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
