It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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