if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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