the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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