Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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