i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
