Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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