Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
