fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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