I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
