i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
