After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
