Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
