Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
