i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
