I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
