it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
