matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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