He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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