They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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