I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
