i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
