and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
