I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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