he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
