i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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