Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
