we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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