Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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