You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize