i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone signed my nipple.
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