there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I am available for nakedness
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