"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
