I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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