oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???