If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
