also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
