I hate your face
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize