If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
