3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize