i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
